Battle Nations Wiki

It's Cold Outside[]

Baby, It's Cold Outside[]

Level: 15 Prereq: Rescue to the Recon, Birds of Prey - Part 3
Npc noob full Seasons greetings, so ignore your traditions and engage in ours. Deco holiday empire 1 icon Build 3 Festivus Deco at the Outpost
Job bakery puddingPie icon Make 2 Pudding Pies at the Bakery
Cost: Resource-time 4h, Gold 250
Reward: XP 400, unlocks Pile of Jubilee, Snow Trooper, Jubilee Tree, Burnt Offering, A Pole That Is On Fire, Pit of Flames
Followup: Non-Distinct Seasonal Hello
Start mission
Npc engineer full~ipad It's that time of year again, everyone! The time where we shed our selfish shells in exchange for our selfless suits!
Morgan2 Floyd, that makes no sense, but it is starting to feel familiarly cold outside. Hmm, and I'm not seeing any Festivus decorations yet. That needs to change.
Perkins! I'm feeling generous this year. Put up some Festivus decorations then invite all our neighbors here for a GIANT celebration! I want this to be epic!
Npc noob full Are you sure that's wise, sir? Most of our neighbors have their own celebratory events right now.
Morgan2 Yeah, well, ours is cooler so they should come join us.
Finish mission
Morgan2 Looks pretty good, I guess. Could be shinier. Have the invites been sent? Any responses yet?
Npc noob full Yes sir, I sent the invitations out. I got an immediate response from Sheriff Colt and another response from Elder Taos just arrived. Both are coming to the Outpost to celebrate with us. Some others too.
Morgan2 Great! I want both of them to feel like their efforts are completely inadequate compared to an Imperial celebration! Really spread the cheer, you know?
Reward screen
Npc engineer full~ipad I think we might have different definitions for "cheer".

Non-Distinct Seasonal Hello[]

Level: 15 Prereq: Baby, It's Cold Outside
Npc noob full I'll get right on it, sir. Deco holiday frontier 1 icon Build a Winter Jubilee deco
Deco holiday raider 1 icon Build a Dawnbringer Feast deco
Reward: XP 400
Followup: Charity Case
Start mission
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt You invited us all the way up here and you don't even have any Winter Jubilee decorations up? I gotta say, I'm a might disappointed. I thought you wanted us to feel welcome.
Npc raiderelder full Indeed, this is most discouraging. Not a single Flaming Pole tribute or Pit of Flames to acknowledge the Dawnbringer Feast.
Morgan2 This isn't panning out how I wanted it to. Perkins is the one who dishonored you guys, not me! Don't worry though, I'll force him to fix this.
Finish mission
Morgan2 There we go! Now everything is fixed, and we can start the celebration! Who wants egg-nog? I know I do.
Npc raiderelder full This is much more welcoming. I am reminded of walking the battlefield after a victory, stepping over the burning corpses of my fallen enemies. It fills me with joy. I thank you for this.
OK then. What about you Sheriff? Reminded of any past grotesqueries?
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt You've done an admirable job here lieutenant. 'Course the trees look a little puny but I can overlook that this time.
Reward screen
Morgan2 Once again, I've saved the day.

Charity Case[]

Level: 15 Prereq: Non-Distinct Seasonal Hello
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt Goons. Sure. Job hearth scareraptor icon Make Toys at the Tool Shop
Mapicon Go to the World Map
Npc raider icon Defeat Hostile Raiders on the World Map
Cost: Resource-time 2h, Gold 1,500, Wood 150
Reward: XP 400
Followup: Right Down Your Chimney
Start mission
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt Decent enough shindig you got here, Morgan. But, some of the folks back home're wonderin' when those toys you promised for the kids are gonna arrive.
Morgan2 Uh...what?
We, uh, already sent those? I think we did at least…
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt That's strange seein' as how they never showed up.
Morgan2 Yes, that is indeed strange. I bet they were stolen... by some goons... along the way.
We should send some more, but this time with some of our troops. For protection.
Finish mission
Npc sergeant full Hostile Raiders have been eliminated from the immediate area, Lieutenant.
Npc mechanic full~ipad Toys have been made too, LT! I even shoved 'em all into a giant sack to make 'em easier to carry.
Morgan2 Just one giant sack? That seems inconvenient. Is it organized? How do you know which toys are which? You'd have to empty the whole thing…
Npc engineer full~ipad Oh no, here he goes.
Reward screen
Morgan2 Why not a bunch of smaller sacks?

Right Down Your Chimney[]

Level: 15 Prereq: Charity Case
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt I'm even less impressed than usual. Mapicon Go to the World Map
NpcRebel icon Protect the Cargo from Rebels
Npc raider icon Protect the Cargo from Raiders
Reward: XP 400
Followup: Seasons Greedings
Start mission
Npc noob full All the gifts have been loaded up, sir. The truck is ready to go whenever you give the word.
Morgan2 OK, great. Let's get this over with. I'd like to get back to the party in time to actually enjoy myself a bit. I work myself too hard sometimes.
Npc sergeant full You do seem a little more tense than usual, Lieutenant.
Morgan2 I don't know. I guess I'm just a little stressed? I wanted this party to go off without a hitch so I could impress our neighbors, but that obviously isn't happening.
Finish mission
Npc sergeant full No more enemies in sight, Lieutenant.
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt Ya dun good, kid. One disaster averted.
Reward screen
Morgan2 I'm sure the rest of this party will go just fine.

Seasons Greedings[]

Level: 15 Prereq: Right Down Your Chimney
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt I reckon I could help you sleuth out the truth. HomeSecurity arsenalLocker icon Build Forensics Kit at the Tool Shop
Cost: Resource-time 2h, Gold 1,500, Iron 150
Reward: XP 400
Followup: Don't be a Boar, To Kill a Raptor
Start mission
Npc sharpshooter full~ipad Anyone else noticin' things of theirs goin' missin'? I swear I brought an extra pair of gloves with me, but I ain't been able to find 'em since I got here.
Npc mechanic full~ipad LT? Some of my tools have disappeared from the Tool Shop.
Npc engineer full~ipad Has anyone seen my bird-scented cologne prototype, "Soaring Sparrow: A Scent for Men"?
Morgan2 And my flask is missing. Great. OK folks! Keep calm! We may or may not have a serial burglar at the Outpost!
Sheriff, you're a sheriff. Care to help us with the investigation?
Finish mission
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt What's this thing?
Npc engineer full~ipad I thought you might benefit from some Imperial forensics tools to aid in your investigation of the crime scenes.
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt Why don't you hold on to that, and I'll let you know when I need it.
Everyone listen up! We got tracks headin' in two directions. We're gonna need to split into a couple groups to follow 'em.
Reward screen
Npc engineer full~ipad I feel like a P.I. from one of my mystery novels!

To Kill a Raptor[]

Level: 15 Prereq: Seasons Greedings
Morgan2 The punishment's the fun part. Well, not for the punished. Mapicon Go to the Raptor Nest
Raptor icon Defeat the Raptors
Reward: XP 400
Followup: Over the Waves and Through the Canal
Start mission
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt These tracks are leadin' us toward the Raptor Nest.
Morgan2 Oh perfect. Whoever we're hunting is probably now being hunted by deadly raptors as well.
If we don't find them quickly, there might not be anyone left to arrest and punish.
Finish mission
Morgan2 I'm not seeing any people, or parts of people. I'm guessing the criminal isn't here anymore?
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt Looks that way. I'm seein' some similar tracks to what I found at your Outpost headin' in this direction. Let me follow these a bit and I'll see where they're goin'.
Morgan2 Alright everyone! Give the Sheriff some room to work.
Reward screen
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt I reckon I know where to head next.

Don't be a Boar[]

Level: 15 Prereq: Seasons Greedings
Npc sergeant full Yeah, but I'm not worried about running into boars. Mapicon Go to the Boar Badlands
WildBoar icon Defeat the Boars
Reward: XP 400
Followup: Over the Waves and Through the Canal
Start mission
Npc sharpshooter full~ipad Alright folks! Follow me! We gotta track this thief down and the tracks are headin' toward the Boar Lands.
Npc sergeant full Lead the way Cassidy, we're right behind you. Be sure to tell me immediately if you see anything.
Npc sharpshooter full~ipad Really Ramsey, I think I can take care of a few boars. I been huntin' boars in these parts for most of my life.
Finish mission
Npc sharpshooter full~ipad See Ramsey? Nothin' to worry about. Now, back to what we came here for. I'm seein' some more of those tracks and they're goin' back toward your Outpost.
Npc sergeant full Back? This thief must be a master of stealth. Is there anything else you're seeing?
Npc sharpshooter full~ipad No, we should probably get back now. No point in us standin' out here in the freezin' cold. We still got a thief to catch!
Reward screen
Npc sergeant full This guy better watch out!

Snow Days[]

Snow Days[]

Level: 15
Npc mechanic full~ipad I hope he doesn't think this is a date or anythin'. Cuz it ain't. Job toolshop sled icon Build Non-Rocket Sled at the Tool Shop
Job toolshop rocket sled icon Build Rocket Sled at the Tool Shop
Cost: Resource-time 4h, Gold 3,000, Wood 150, Iron 150
Reward: XP 400
Followup: Government Plastic
Start mission
Npc noob full Zoey? I've got some downtime and I want to do something fun. Since you're the only person around here that's about my age, I was wondering if you had any ideas?
Npc mechanic full~ipad Somethin' fun, huh? Well, I've been meanin' to build this sled prototype I thought up, but we'd have ta go someplace off-site to try it out.
Npc noob full Oh sledding! That sounds like a lot of fun! We could go to the Frozen Wasteland and sled for a bit then make it back before dark!
Finish mission
Npc noob full I made a pretty decent sled, if I do say so myself.
Wow Zoey! What the heck is that thing?!
Npc mechanic full~ipad Just my prototype rocket-powered sled! With this, I won't have to get off the sled to get back to the top of the hill!
Reward screen
Npc noob full I sure hope my snow suit's fireproof.

Government Plastic[]

Level: 15 Prereq: Snow Days
Npc noob full Yes sir, of course... Mapicon Go to the Frozen Wasteland
Reward: XP 400
Followup: Hot Chocolate
Start mission
Morgan2 Perkins! Where do you think you're going at this time of day?
Npc noob full It's still morning sir, and I've got downtime until tomorrow. Zoey and I are going to the Frozen Wasteland to do some sledding.
Morgan2 Yeah, I don't like that idea. I can't have one of my most important assets wandering into potentially dangerous territory without an escort.
Npc noob full That's very thoughtful of you to think of me in that way sir.
Morgan2 You? Please! I'm talking about Zoey. You know, the one that builds strategic weapons and adds value beyond her mere existence? I'm going with you.
Finish mission
Npc mechanic full~ipad Wow! This rocket sled's really movin'! Outta the way, Perkins!
Npc noob full Oh god! Stop chasing me with that thing!
Morgan2 Hey you two! Be careful!
Watch out for those trees! Hey! Keep your hat on! You'll catch a cold!
Reward screen
Morgan2 These kids are gonna give me a heart attack!

Hot Chocolate[]

Level: 15 Prereq: Government Plastic
Morgan2 Is there such a thing as too much fresh air? ReturningHome Return to the Outpost
Job bakery gourmet coffee icon Make Hot Cocoa at the Bakery x 3
Cost: Resource-time 6h, Gold 2,400
Reward: XP 400
Start mission
Npc mechanic full~ipad That was really fun! Thanks for givin' me the idea, Perkins!
Npc noob full Oh sure! Anytime you want to—
Morgan2 Listen guys, we should head back soon. I'm getting cold and I'd rather not spend the night in the woods, in the snow, during the winter. Let's go get something to warm us up.
Finish mission
Npc noob full I'm so sore now, and that hot chocolate made me want to sleep for a couple days straight.
Morgan2 Well, you have 6 hours until you're on duty again, so good luck with that.
Don't be late. I want my boots shined to perfection before I go walking through this muddy Outpost tomorrow afternoon. I gotta get a solid 8 in first.
Reward screen
Npc noob full What did I do in a past life?

Twelve Days[]

A Peacemonger in His Riot Gear[]

Level: 20
Npc sergeant full Just a Peacemonger in his riot gear. S bounty hunter icon Defeat a Peacemonger in his riot gear.
Reward: XP 100
Followup: Two Turtleshellers
Start mission
Npc sergeant full Enemy approaching, Lieutenant.
Morgan2 How many are we looking at?
Npc sergeant full Just one sir, looks like he means business too.
Morgan2 Just one? Really? This doesn't feel right. Are you sure there aren't any others, maybe hiding behind him?
Reward screen
Npc noob full A Peacemonger in his riot geeeaaar!

Two Turtleshellers[]

Level: 20 Prereq: A Peacemonger in His Riot Gear
Morgan2 Should I be relieved or annoyed? S mortar turtleShell icon Defeat Two Turtleshellers
Reward: XP 200
Followup: Three Mini Tanks
Start mission
Morgan2 Ramsey, I see you standing there staring at me. What is it this time?
Npc sergeant full Two Turtleshellers, sir. Nothing else, either. Just two Turtleshellers.
Reward screen
Npc noob full Two Turtleshellers!

Three Mini Tanks[]

Level: 20 Prereq: Two Turtleshellers
Morgan2 Look at 'em! Aren't they cute? MiniTank icon Defeat Three Mini Tanks
Reward: XP 300
Followup: Four Whirly-birds
Start mission
Npc noob full Sir? We have more enemies approaching. More than last time too. Three Mini Tanks.
Reward screen
Npc noob full Three Mini Tanks!

Four Whirly-birds[]

Level: 20 Prereq: Three Mini Tanks
Morgan2 I'm starting to notice a pattern here. Air sw whirlybird icon Defeat Four Whirly-birds
Reward: XP 400
Followup: Five Golden Taaaaanks!
Start mission
Npc noob full Silver Wolves approaching, sir! Four Whirly-birds!
Reward screen
Npc noob full Four Whirly-birds!

Five Golden Taaaaanks![]

Level: 20 Prereq: Four Whirly-birds
Morgan2 Called it. GoldHeavyTank icon Defeat Five Golden Taaaaanks
Reward: XP 500
Followup: Six Lightning Troopers
Start mission
Morgan2 Let me guess. Five of something?
Npc sergeant full Yep. Five Golden tanks rolling in.
Reward screen
Npc noob full Five Golden Taaaaanks!

Six Lightning Troopers[]

Level: 20 Prereq: Five Golden Taaaaanks!
Morgan2 Well, go take 'em out. Wear rubber-soled boots. ElectroTrooper icon Defeat Six Lightning Troopers
Reward: XP 600
Followup: Seven Snipers Sniping
Start mission
Npc sergeant full More enemies approaching. Six Lightning Troopers this time.
Reward screen
Npc noob full Six Lightning Troopers!

Seven Snipers Sniping[]

Level: 20 Prereq: Six Lightning Troopers
Morgan2 Stop ducking! Shoot them instead! Sniper2 icon Defeat Seven Snipers Sniping
Reward: XP 700
Followup: Eight Minutemen Marching
Start mission
Npc noob full Duck and cover, everyone! Seven Snipers sniping our troops!
Reward screen
Npc noob full Seven Snipers sniping!

Eight Minutemen Marching[]

Level: 20 Prereq: Seven Snipers Sniping
Morgan2 Now the Frontier folks are mad at us? Fr minuteman icon Defeat Eight Minutemen Marching
Reward: XP 800
Followup: Nine Raider Boom Booms
Start mission
Npc noob full More enemies, sir! Eight minutemen marching on the Outpost.
Reward screen
Npc noob full Eight Minutemen marching!

Nine Raider Boom Booms[]

Level: 20 Prereq: Eight Minutemen Marching
Morgan2 At least I can understand why these guys would attack us. BoomBoomRaider icon Defeat Nine Raider Boom Booms
Reward: XP 900
Followup: Ten Ninjas Leaping
Start mission
Npc sergeant full Raiders this time, sir. Nine Raider Boom Booms hucking dynamite.
Reward screen
Npc noob full Nine Raider Boom Booms!

Ten Ninjas Leaping[]

Level: 20 Prereq: Nine Raider Boom Booms
Morgan2 That sounds dangerous. Those swords are sharp. NinjaTrooper icon Defeat Ten Ninjas Leaping
Reward: XP 1,000
Followup: Eleven Hunters Hunting
Start mission
Npc sergeant full Now we've got Ninjas, Morgan. Ten Ninjas leaping all over the place.
Reward screen
Npc noob full Ten Ninjas leaping!

Eleven Hunters Hunting[]

Level: 20 Prereq: Ten Ninjas Leaping
Morgan2 I'm guessing us? Fr hunter icon Defeat Eleven Hunters Hunting
Reward: XP 1,100
Followup: Twelve Thugs Thugging
Start mission
Npc sergeant full Hunters. Eleven of 'em. What could they be hunting here, though?
Reward screen
Npc noob full Eleven Hunters hunting!

Twelve Thugs Thugging[]

Level: 20 Prereq: Eleven Hunters Hunting
Morgan2 Perfect. Let's shoot 'em. Sw thug icon Defeat Twelve Thugs Thugging
Reward: XP 1,200
Start mission
Npc sergeant full Twelve more enemies approaching. Silver wolves. Twelve thugs.
Finish mission
Morgan2 OK, so that was fun. To recap, we just took down twelve Thugs thugging, eleven Hunters hunting, ten Ninjas leaping, nine Raider Boom Booms, eight Minutemen marching, seven Snipers sniping, and six Lightning troopers. What else was there?
Npc noob full Five Golden Taaaaanks! Four Whirly-birds, three Mini Tanks, two Turtleshellers —
Npc sergeant full And a Peacemonger in his riot gear.
Reward screen
Morgan2 Great work everyone. I'm gonna go lie down.

Over the Waves[]

Over the Waves and Through the Canal[]

Level: 25 Prereq: Don't be a Boar, To Kill a Raptor, On Shaky Ground
Morgan2 I wonder if they have any winter celebrations... Mapicon Go to the Fishing Grounds
Rb ship speedboat icon Defeat the Reef Bandits
Reward: XP 600
Followup: Back to the Shack
Start mission
Morgan2 Alright Sheriff, where are the tracks headed this time?
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt Looks like they're headed this way, towards the shore. They seem to stop at the end of this dock. You know where any of these ships were headed?
Npc noob full Yes sir. Those ships go through the Reef Bandit fishing grounds territory.
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt Well, you might want to go out there and have a talk with 'em. Aren't those Reef Bandits known for stealin'?
Finish mission
Morgan2 Perkins? Do you have those flash cards we got from the translator, Karin? Try talking to the Chief, see what he knows.
Npc noob full The Chief doesn't know of any of his people stealing items from the Outpost. None of his people have been near it recently, according to him.
Morgan2 Well that's just swell. I guess we should head back now.
Npc noob full He also said he's insulted he wasn't invited to the celebration.
Reward screen
Morgan2 Seriously? We've met him like, what, twice?

Back to the Shack[]

Level: 15 Prereq: Over the Waves and Through the Canal
Morgan2 My flask has cat fur all over it. Job ranchraptor stuffed mammoth icon Make Festivus Dinner for Everyone at Bakery
Cost: Resource-time 4h, Gold 1,700
Reward: XP 1,000
Start mission
Morgan2 Ok we're back. Is anyone seeing anything? It doesn't look like the entire Outpost was looted while we were away, but everyone should check their stuff.
Npc-portrait-Sheriff Colt I found some more tracks. Looks like they're headin' this way, towards Ramsey's shack.
Npc sergeant full Oh no! I gotta make sure Mr. Purrface is OK!
Npc sharpshooter full~ipad Mr. Purrface looks fine, except… Wait a second. Why does Mr. Purrface have one of my gloves in his mouth? And what's all that stuff under your recliner?
Npc sergeant full Oh great. Looks like we found the culprit. Sorry everyone. Mr. Purrface was probably just trying to find me some Festivus gifts.
Finish mission
Npc sergeant full Once again, sorry about Mr. Purrface. He doesn't know any better. He's just a good little kitty that likes shiny things.
Npc cat full~ipad Mrrrow?
Npc sergeant full See? He's really sorry too. Who's a fluffy little guy?
Morgan2 Well, this was certainly an interesting Festivus.
Reward screen
Npc noob full So wait, it was an actual cat burglar?

Cold Navy[]

Level: 25 Prereq: New Kids on the Block
Npc engineer full~ipad Have you tried dressing in layers? Steel-toedBoots icon Make Steel-toed Boots at the Sweatshop x 2
Job toolshop spaceheater icon Make Space Heaters at the Tool Shop x 2
Cost: Resource-time 8h, Gold 6,270, Steel 800
Reward: XP 600
Followup: These Boots Were Made for Shipping
Start mission
Morgan2 Captain Pike? What are you doing up here? Enjoying the winter of the Northern Frontier?
Npc captainpike full I wish that were the case, Lieutenant. While my home country isn't exactly warm, this type of winter is something we're not used to. I'm afraid we all may freeze to death without your assistance.
Morgan2 I'm sure we can give you a hand. And by "we" I mean not me.
Floyd! Why are you never around when I actually want you to be? Help Captain Pike here not freeze to death.
Finish mission
Npc captainpike full So, you really think boots are that important? I always thought of them as simply a means to keep my feet off the ground.
Morgan2 That's why you keep needing our help, Pike. Boots make the man. Without a good pair of boots on your feet, you face certain defeat. I'm not trying to make a cute pun either. I mean it.
Also I hate puns.
Npc captainpike full Most intriguing, Lieutenant. I've always enjoyed a good pun myself.
Reward screen
Morgan2 You're not making it easy to like you.

These Boots Were Made for Shipping[]

Level: 25 Prereq: Cold Navy
Morgan2 Perfect! For once, we have the element of surprise! Mapicon Sail to Port City
Ship battleship med icon Defeat the Sovereign Navy
Reward: XP 900
Followup: Uninvited Guests
Start mission
Morgan2 Hey Perkins! Radio Captain Pike and let him know we'll be arriving at his port shortly with his winter gear.
Npc noob full Yes sir. I'll let him know immediately.
Morgan2 Wait a second, did Pike post a few ships outside his port to meet us? What am I looking at here?
Npc sergeant full They look like Sovereign ships, Lieutenant. Looks like they're about to attack Port City.
Finish mission
Npc captainpike full These boots are excellent, Lieutenant. What do we owe you for compensation?
Morgan2 Under normal circumstances, this is the point where I would try to con you out of a bunch of your money. But seeing as it's the season for giving, consider it a Festivus gift.
Npc captainpike full Festivus? I assume this is a winter tradition of yours? We have one of those as well we call 'Boxes Day'. People are encouraged to buy their friends and family gifts, and to put them in boxes as a surprise.
Reward screen
Morgan2 Where do all these holidays come from anyway?

Uninvited Guests[]

Level: 25 Prereq: These Boots Were Made for Shipping
Npc noob full Maybe they'll leave if we turn off the lighthouse, like no one's home? Ship battleship med icon Defeat the Sovereign Forces at the Outpost
Reward: XP 900
Followup: A Feast is a Feast
Start mission
Morgan2 Man, it's great to be back at the Outpost. I'm tired of always rushing to the aid of others. I say we impose some sort of base-wide non-interference policy. We can't be the police of everything.
Npc noob full It looks like some Sovereign ships followed us back to the Outpost, sir. Should I tell them we don't want to fight them and to leave us alone?
Morgan2 I mean, you can try, but I don't think they're gonna listen. I guess there's always the extremely slim chance they want to give us gifts for that Boxes Day thing Pike mentioned...
Finish mission
Npc sergeant full That took care of 'em, Lieutenant. I don't see anymore ships in the harbor, at least.
Morgan2 That's good news, Ramsey. OK, are we safe for a few minutes? Can I go lie down now?
Npc sergeant full We appear to be, yeah.
Morgan2 Great. Make sure nobody bothers me for a while, and have Perkins stand guard outside my bedroom.
Reward screen
Morgan2 Tell him to shoot anyone that tries to wake me up.

A Feast is a Feast[]

Level: 25 Prereq: Uninvited Guests
Morgan2 Boxes Day sounds amazing! Job missionWine icon Make a Bottle of Wine at the Distillery
Boarpen ham icon Make 2 Spiral Cut Honey Boars at the Boar Pen
Cost: Resource-time 20h, Gold 2,180
Reward: XP 1,000
Start mission
Npc noob full Did you enjoy your nap, sir?
Morgan2 Yeah I did, surprisingly. It doesn't look like anything caught fire while I was asleep, either. And now I see Captain Pike approaching. Great. I wonder what catastrophe he needs help avoiding this time.
Npc captainpike full Lieutenant Morgan! My men and I wanted to thank you for your recent generosity, so we brought you all some Boxes Day gifts. We hope you enjoy them!
Morgan2 Oh wow, is that it? No life threatening problems, or hostile factions after you?
Npc captainpike full Well, there was one other thing. It's a Boxes Day tradition to celebrate the times with copious amounts of food and alcohol!
Finish mission
Morgan2 OK, I've officially had too much to eat. Someone... who am I kidding, Perkins, get a wheelbarrow and roll me out of here. I'm too full to move.
Npc noob full Yes sir, I just need to digest for a minute…
Npc captainpike full Your cabin boy appears to have dozed off, Lieutenant. Would you like me to top off your glass?
Morgan2 Don't have to ask me twice! For once, I can say that I'm glad you stopped by!
Reward screen
Npc captainpike full Happy Holidays, Outpost!

Some Like It[]

Some Like it Hot[]

Level: 68 Prereq: Infiltration
Npc engineer full~ipad Well, probably not much trouble, maybe. Robes icon Make Velvet Robes at the Sweatshop
Slippers icon Make Fuzzy Slippers at the Sweatshop
Mapicon Go to the Spiderwasp Caves
Cost: Resource-time 20h, Gold 1,425
Reward: XP 1,000
Followup: Steam Clean
Start mission
Npc engineer full~ipad Morgan, your energy consumption rate during this winter season is not sustainable. You have to cancel at least two of your showers throughout the day.
Morgan2 Hey, if you have a better idea for how I can create a nice steamy environment in my private washroom, then I'd like to know. Or maybe you can you build me a sauna instead?
Npc engineer full~ipad I lack the resources, and desire, to build you a personal sauna. There are other alternatives though. The Spiderwasp caves, for instance, act like a natural sauna.
Morgan2 Yeah, they're also full of lava and deadly, deadly spiderwasps.
Npc engineer full~ipad Oh, you big baby. Just bring some of your troops with you. Most of the spiderwasps were eliminated by your soldiers anyway. I doubt you would run into much trouble.
Finish mission
Morgan2 Perkins! Are you ready to act as my look-out while I'm enjoying a nice steam?
Npc noob full Yes sir, but why do I have to wear this bathrobe? Shouldn't I still be in my uniform?
Morgan2 Nonsense! It's a "natural sauna" Perkins, and you know the rules. Appropriate attire for every situation. Rule #137 of the Imperial Handbook.
Reward screen
Npc noob full I think this might be a ladies bathrobe...

Steam Clean[]

Level: 68 Prereq: Some Like it Hot
Npc noob full Oh gg… gr… great. Mapicon Go to the Spiderwasp Caves
S spiderwasp warrior 70 icon Defeat the Spiderwasps
Reward: XP 2,500
Followup: Cooldown
Start mission
Morgan2 Wow, these caves are a lot warmer than I remember them being. Hurry up, Perkins! Be prepared to fire at ANYTHING you see with more than four limbs and a head!
Npc noob full Yu.. Yes ss.. sir. Just nn… need to warm up a b...bit.
Morgan2 Yeah, you probably should have waited to change into the slippers and bathrobe until after we got here. You know it's winter, right?
Npc noob full B...but, yyou s...said…
Morgan2 Oh crap! I honestly believed Floyd when he said we probably wouldn't see any spiderwasps. Yet here they are. Fan out men!
Finish mission
Morgan2 Well, wonderful. Now I have bug-juice all over my slippers and bathrobe. I'm going to need a new one, thanks Perkins.
Npc noob full I didn't bring any extra sets, sir. And If I give you mine then what am I going to wear?
Morgan2 Just put your uniform back on and take a few demerits. Also, make a note for me to chastise Floyd when we get back. He was totally wrong about the spiderwasps being gone.
Reward screen
Morgan2 How dare he predict something incorrectly!


Level: 68 Prereq: Steam Clean
Npc noob full And so the pendulum swings... ReturningHome Return to the Outpost
Job ice snowcone icon Make Snow Cone at the Bakery
Cost: Resource-time 10h 46m 40s, Gold 200
Reward: XP 2,000
Followup: They Came Back!
Start mission
Morgan2 OK, I'm done with this place. These caves are officially too hot. I thought I'd enjoy my journey to become a human piece of jerky, but this isn't fun anymore.
Npc noob full Should we head back to the Outpost, sir?
Morgan2 Yeah, let's get going, and radio ahead. I'll be needing an appropriate snack when I get back. Something to cool me off.
I'm thinking a snow cone.
Finish mission
Npc noob full How's your snow cone, sir?
Morgan2 This stuff is really cold, you know that? Whose idea was it to have a snow cone prepared for me during the winter, anyway? The whole point of going to those caves in the first place was to warm up.
Npc noob full I believe it was your ide—
Morgan2 Stop Perkins, I've remembered that I don't care.
Reward screen
Morgan2 Oh, and warm up my snow cone.

They Came Back![]

Level: 68 Prereq: Cooldown
Morgan2 Showing up uninvited, intent on murder. Extremely rude. S spiderwasp warrior 70 icon Defeat the Spiderwasps
Reward: XP 3,000
Start mission
Npc sergeant full Floyd? Do you hear that strange buzzing sound?
Npc engineer full~ipad Yes I do, but I can't tell what could be making it…
Oh no. Spiderwasps! They must have followed Morgan and Perkins back from the caves!
Morgan2 Hey Ramsey! What's that weird buzzing noise? Is Zoey building something bee related?
Oh nevermind, I see them. It's just a swarm of terrifying, deadly creatures.
Finish mission
Morgan2 Floyd, I'm going to guess that the spiderwasps showing up here wasn't a coincidence. Any idea what happened or how they could have made it this far?
Npc engineer full~ipad I was curious myself, so I took a look at the bathrobes and slippers you brought back with you. They seem to be covered in the remains of spiderwasps that, I assume, you dispatched in the caves.
It seems the viscera of the spiderwasp acts as a pheromone attractor for other spiderwasps, signalling them that there is danger. They must have followed the trail all the way back to the Outpost looking for the threat.
Reward screen
Morgan2 So it's Perkins' fault for not wanting to litter...